Interview from Wooooo #4.

Gardar Eide Einarsson.
Interview by Gary Sandwiches
Photo Max Farago

Gardar Eide Einarsson’s work is as far from the romanticism of the ephemeral and the fragmentary as it is from the stringent textual strategies of classic conceptual art… what? So anyway the Norse god Thor decided to become a mortal for a night and went down to earth to bone some hos from ‘round the way. He met a beautiful girl at The Olive Garden salad bar and they spent the evening together. In the morning Thor decided to reveal his true identity to the woman. “I’m Thor” he said. “You’re thor!” she said, “Lithen buthter, I’m tho thor I can hardly thit down!” HA HA HA HA HA!! Good stuff.

So what’s your name?
What’s my name? You know my name dude, come on.
Come on man, for the people.
Gardar.
Gardar? Gardar who?
You want my whole name?
Yeah.
Gardar Eide Einarsson
How do you spell that?
G-A-R-D-A-R.
Yeah.
E-I-D-E.
Yep.
E-I-N-A-R-S-S-O-N.
Now what kinda name is that?
It’s Icelandic. My dad’s Icelandic y’know.
Is he a Viking?
Yeah, pretty much. Gardar was the first person to go to Iceland and stay a whole winter.
That’s great, but why are you talking about yourself in the third person now?
What? No. The original Gardar.
Oh, was he a berserker?
What?
Was he a berserker?
Yeah, pretty much.
So what do you do? You’re an artist or something, right?
Yeah.
What sort of art do you do?
Well, you know, I do a lot of different stuff. I do installation stuff, painting, photos, a little bit of video…I just did theater!
Theater you say?
Yeah, it was awesome.
So you’re kind of doing a bit of everything.
Pretty much.
Are you rich?
No. Hell no.
So, are you pretty good at art, or are you just okay?
Well, you know, I’m not very technically good, y’know? Its like, all the stuff I do…none of it is very technically proficient.
So it’s more about the concept than the execution?
Yeah, yeah, exactly dude, that’s my excuse.
Where can I go see your art if I get bored one day?
You can go to Team gallery.
Who?
Team Gallery.
Have you got any famous artist friends?
Famous artist friends? I don’t know…I used to work for Vito Acconci. He’s pretty famous.
Right on. He’s gay, right?
No, he’s super straight, dude.
Okay.
I don’t know if he’s super straight, but…
He’s pretty straight.
Pretty straight.
I see you’ve got a lot of tattoos there.
Yeah.
Any regrets?
Not really, no. I think that it’s natural for you to regret them a little bit. It’s in your nature that you should get them and be like “oh…,” y’know? I have one tattoo that I kind of regret, I did it myself and it doesn’t mean anything, its like a phone doodle, it’s a dot.
What did you do it with?
A tattoo needle actually.
Do you rip your shirt off right away when you get into fights?
Yeah.
Are there any Icelandic theme bars?
Yeah, you mean like Outback Steakhouse?
Yeah, but for berserkers. Is there a “Viking Hut?”
Not here, but they totally do in Germany.
Can I get a Norse Burger?
Probably, dude.
Can I get a Thor-shake?
Probably.
Are there any Vikings left in the world? They must be all gone now, right?
Well…they kind of live on in intoxicated Scandinavians.
But where did the real ones go?
They’re still around, they just changed their ways a little.
How?
They traded rape for like, social security.
And those big ships for jet skis.
Yeah, exactly.