Archive for July, 2008
Read the rest of this entrynow you’ve realized it’s more than a haircut, some fake spectacles and the great ingratiating horde…
We DJ’d at Sweet Paradise last week and it went very well… except that one bitch that kept stumbling over saying it was her birthday and could we play something from this decade… repugnant slag… oh, and Gardar turned up and mooned us for three hours… otherwise the night was a roaring success! We played a bunch of old rock n’ roll shit and the people danced their sweet, ever-luv’n balls off! And we got paid and drunk for free! Thanks Justin & Ted!
We’ll be doing it again on the 21st off august, pencil it in.
Maybe we’ll have the launch party for issue #6 there? Not sure, makes sense though…
Oh look! A Smiths video!
We’re not over it… you must be by now though… surely…
Best scene from the best movie ever- Withnail and I.
It’s mind blowing how few Americans have seen this! It’s a classic!
Directed by Bruce Robinson, director of the forthcoming Rum Diary, starring Johnny Depp as Hunter Thompson… again.
Best book ever written about a giant shark! You saw the movie?
The movie sucked in comparison to the book! The book was on the best seller list for 44 weeks! It’s brilliant. You should read it. Best summertime read ever.
Best recreational drug ever! Duh! Coke!!
You never did coke? It’s excellent! Everything is better when your high on coke! And your much smarter!
Go buy some right now and invited some friends over to smoke a carton of cigarettes with you! It’s so good, you’ll want to do it every single day! Maybe you will!
Best thing to do when you have a spare ten minutes to yourself?
Masturbate without pornography! It’s amazing! It’s like the ‘Bang-Bus’ is in your head and it’s totally, 100% free!
It’s the best! You don’t feel weird or guilty because you stumbled across some nasty shit and kept going! Plus- you dont have to delete the history in your head! No one can see it! It’s inside your head! Your girlfriend will never know you were thinking about the 19 year old who lives down the hall putting a hairbrush up your butt! Excellent!
This is really, really important…
Crombie and JOHN FREEMAN! are DJing at Sweet Paradise tomorrow night… Thursday night… If your in NYC come by and drink some hella-cheap beer and say ‘HI!’
God it’s hard doing this blog bullshit. Scouring the internet for funny pictures of midgets while simultaneously resisting the temptation to catch a ride on the ‘Bang Bus’…
It’s not right.
It’s just not right.
Anyways, check out this gnarly, gnarly shit.
Now look at this because it is till so good.
I know this girl, she’s a waitress in a restaurant frequented by quite a few Polish folks.
One day someone told her that it was a good idea to refer to her older customers as ‘Pitchnoos’ or something like that, basically the respectful polish word for ‘sweet heart’
So for three weeks she thinks she’s calling all these old Polish people ‘sweet heart’ but she was actually calling them ‘cunts’!
Good morning cunts! Can I get you cunts some coffee? Have a nice day cunts!
Excellent.
Andre has the files again, on disc. WOOOOO #6 is officially being laid out!
At the moment it looks like this:
That’s it in the middle, see it? Sleeping in it’s cozy chorion on Andre’s desktop, waiting to graduate from the laval stage and become a beautiful, perfect-bound, 150 something page collection of conversations with people of public interest.
This may be the best thing we’ve ever done, and lets face it- We’ve done a lot.
Consider, if you will, that this is our SIXTH issue. Our SIXTH! Can you even imagine how it must feel to climb to such vertiginous heights of achievement? These are truly glorious times for everyone involved in this small, though horribly pungent, duck turd we call
WOOOOO MAGAZINE.
At this juncture I would like to thank ALL of this issue’s contributers, even the crappy ones, and apologize for the lengthy wait that many of you have numbingly endured since submitting you’re work in… March? April?
Don’t blame the editor! Blame your fellow freelancer! He was still dropping mounds on my desk up until last week! Or last month at least!
Thanks also goes to our paying advertisers. Publishing this rag would be borderline impossible if it weren’t for you two guys. Thanks a ton.
lastly, I should thank all the letter writers, the people who drop us a line just to say-
‘Hey, you know what? I like what your doing.’ Or ‘I’m a horny. Can I come intern for the summer?’ Or ‘You should interview me! I’m an artist!’
Thank-you all for the steady stream of good natured missives that keep this train a-chugg’n.
This is fast turning into absolute twaddle, so I’ll wrap it up.
Sincere thanks to everyone involved, sorry about the wait.
Also, sorry to everyone that came in contact with me on Tuesday night.
Thank you Ryan Kearney for retrieving my beloved sunglasses from the face of Pia Arr-o-brio-bo, and keeping them safe from harm.
You are a saint among swine.
No thanks goes to the producers of Chateau Grande Cassagne, Costieres de Nimes, Rose 2004.
Your grapes are evil and should be burned on the vine.
