Archive for October, 2008
Read the rest of this entryOooh Jesus! We are getting very close to releasing another madcap issue of everyone’s favorite interview based, paperback sized, laugh out loud, zany-balls publication- Wooooo Magazine! You can almost smell the gloss laminate on that glorious front cover! And what a front cover! What a cover story! You’ll forget that it’s been almost a year since our last yellowy literary discharge, I’ll wager you’ll even forget your name and where you are when this next issue lilts down from heaven and comes to rest in the grubby, knotted protuberances you call your hands! My god it’s a good one!
And you’ll be happy to know that a certain individual, who will remain nameless for legal reasons, has obtained a visa and will not be shaking out cosmopolitans five night a week ever again! And because this erstwhile barkeep has quit his ‘day job’ you can expect to see a marked surge in the production of this ‘glossy’ Oh yes! I did say Glossy! Here it comes! Like the Koh-i-Noor of independent publishing, clacking and scuttling down the fog slicked lanes of Sir Arthur Ignatius Conan Doyles London night! What?!
Ignatius? Who knew? Perhaps a more learned person! We didn’t!
But then we didn’t go to university! There! I’ve said it now!
Who cares? It’s coming! IT’S COOOOOOMING!
Our special friends Tenzin and Magnus got really bored of just having interesting first names so they started a magazine!
It’s called ‘The Last Magazine’ and it’s a really big, broadsheet newspaper sized deal, poster sized. It looks amazing! It was printed by Steidl (you know… Steidl) so the quality is excellent.
You can pick it up at that mag store on the corner of Lafayette and Spring (NYC), otherwise Google your balls off till you find it. Here’s some spreads… and toes to help you recognize the vastness going on here. It’s not all fashion spreads by the way, there’s a bunch of other art/culture stuff, we just thought you’d like to see girls. The handsome guy holding the mag is Tenzin… he used to be a model… and a banker… and, ladies, I think he’s single… I have his phone and email so start bidding. Seriously, I will sell you his phone number and email address.
We think our holy friend Jaimie Daughters is in Mexico somewhere… who knows though? He could be under the stairs…
He’s the only true hobo-mystic, poet-photographer we know.
Here’s a letter and movie we got from him today.
It may please the reader to know,
my first bride, (of the Ithumus, Tehuantepec) although phonetically wondrous, reads at third grade level.
that our first daughter, whether blank or brown faced, shall be named Blurry Dawn.
that times have changed the standing of the indigenous vagina,
That Vasco de Gama is to blame for that.
my dear Sir Sandwiches I am running later than expected in contacting you, still pacifying winter gloom by virtue of sun baked days, rumination and fry bread.
I’ll save you from the drawn out rigmarole, my pork skin (Chicharone) binges, the resultant lukewarm excremental rivulets.
I’ll save you the onslaught of nameless memories
of shiftless gazes at myriad ornamented women.
of inflated dreams, and curdled midnight fears
this story of my maya is not a ladder to perfection
merely amorphous tidbits serving to provide a piece of the puzzle.
here now, having returned to the State of America, finding my place.
Playing in the dirt, traversing the fields, nature , it’s cyclical spectacle.
If Mexico were the testicles [balls], Frisco, the ambiguous cousin, and Los Angeles, the plastic asshole,
Please keep me well informed..
Your story’s are always welcome, I find them greaty arresting.
I await further instruction re: your CA medical maryjuana card.
your,
Pancho Lefty
Been listening to Irish Radio at the office lately.
It’s brilliant. Do yourself a favor and check it out.
Also check this bike out and then buy it for me, I’ll finnish it.
Four years ago we got a letter from this kid in Fredonia NY asking how he could get his hands on our first issue. He’d read about us in Thrasher, we were reviewed (favorably) in the ‘Zine Thing’ section. Anyway, he became our first subscriber and now we post out the latest issue to him first as a sort of tradition. Recently he sent us a copy of his new zine-
‘Void Zone’ and it’s awesome! Here’s our fav spreads.
Can someone please buy 233.3333333333 Taco Cat T-shirts? Gaaaah….
Purrcast is the best website ever!
Aubrey Beardsley was Oscar Wilde’s Ralph Steadman… sort of.
I don’t know art but I know what I like- women farting at skinny old men.
Swear to god that new issue is coming out! Don’t get heavy with us, we’ve had a ton of stuff going on. We can’t get specific, but just know it’s not because we’re hopeless ne’er-do-wells.
It’s personal stuff holding us up… Salvia divinorum related stuff…
It’s coming though, and it’ll knock the top of your head off and fill it with skittles.
Preacher & the Knife are playing next saturday. They are our favorite.
They can be your favorite too.
How badly does this cop wanna fiddle with these young boys?
Dude should have joined the church.
You probably already saw this one, huh?
Well, not everyone is sitting on the pulse like you Mr. Cool Balls.
Penny – Why are you advertising this knife as a good thing / something interesting when it is extremely fateful if used in an attack?
I enjoy your publication but letting people know that there is a knife that can kill people by freezing there internal organs is plain stupid.
-Worried. (Belinda)
Hi Belinda.
People also know there are guns. And chainsaws. And regular knives. And Simply Red albums. That’s why the government has laws preventing people from carrying class A weapons. Though we have delusions of grandeur, it is not ThreeThousand’s responsibility to remind people not to commit murder.
I am glad you like ThreeThousand though, and I hope you will keep reading.
PM
(Stop asking me to copy edit the above. I didn’t write it.)
Jason Polan’s Taco Bell Drawing Club is meeting this Wednesday October 8
from 4-5:30pm at the 14th Street Taco Bell just West of Union Square.
I believe pens and paper will be provided.
Like Nick Cave? We do, and we’re banging out his hits Thursday October 30
@ Sweet Paradise.
Get a can of Aqua-net and come shoot some smack with us!
