Archive for March, 2009
We haven’t blogged anything in like forever. Sorry cats, gotta flog that new issue, make some more loot to pay for the next one.
That’s why you got directed to the ‘Latest Issue’ page. Buy something you fucker.
Last Friday we had a small press-launch-party thing at The Smile and invited a bunch of industry heads (that sounded bad) to come and check out the new issue and also get wasted on probably the best punch ever made in the history of punch.
It was insanely civilized, making us feel both proud and disappointed. We weren’t expecting an orgy, but at least someone could have pulled their balls out of their fly or something? As usual, none of the current issue’s interviewees showed up. They RSVP’d, but then thought “Oh man, everyone’s gonna be fanning out on me and getting me to sign autographs. I’m not going.” Tons and tons of really hot girls turned up though, but our party photographer and good buddy, JD Ferguson, is a gay, so we mostly got pictures of men…
Anyway, we promise to update the blog everyday again like we used to before things got hectic at the office.
It’ll be just like old times, man!
In the meantime have a quick look at these pictures from the party.
Read the rest of this entrySorry about the false alarm everyone. FedEx forgot to put it on the truck today. It’s still in Jersey until tomorrow. Ha-haaa.
Ah, FedEx you cheeky little scamps.
WOOOOO #7
How bad does those god-damn Kindle 2′s suck? We hate, hate, hate them. What a crappy idea. What are the trees meant to do when we don’t need them for paper? That’s the upside, right? Adios to the paper mills. But really, how nice is it to have and hold a book? Don’t you want the physical article? The pages dog-eared and yellowing like you’re grandpa? It’s nice! These Kindle things have no character, no soul, they fucking suck. I suppose there’s no stopping them once they start marketing the little bastards like ipods. Do you remember when ipods came out and every one was like “What? So I wouldn’t actually own CDs? It’d all be on that little walkman thing? Fuck that!”
Anyway, we’re off to LA for a conference… n’ shit.
Yea-haw! See you next week!
What’s up cock-suckers? Sorry, I just got into Deadwood, what a fucking show! Yeah, I know I’m two years late,
shut the fuck up. Pussy’s half price for the next 15 minutes.
Deadwood gave me an idea for a project ya’ll might be interested in. It’s called “Swearmagedon” and basically it’s a big party where everyone uses curse words like their life depends on it. Here’s a scenario I’ve envisaged: We (Swearmagedon) descend on a quiet bar somewhere, let’s say Shark Bar on Spring and Mulberry, just because it’s full of cock-sucker, green-horn tourists… sorry. We swarm that bar like a vicious, profanity-spewing horde… and it’s awesome. Everyone screaming obscenities at one another across the room! The air ribboned with blasphemy! “Do you fucking, son’s-of-cock-suckers want another fucking shandy?” “Yes fucking please! ” “Get us some mother-fucking potato fucking, cock-sucker chips too, you fucking square-headed ass-fucker!”
Can you imagine? No? Well fuck you. Pussy’s full price again.
For those of you who are fucking interested in getting involved in this god damn. cock-sucker enterprise-
here’s some inspi-fucking-ration.
Keep in mind that was taken from just one episode…
