Sorry about the lack of posts over the last few days. I was in the Bay of Bengal trying to sneak onto North Sentinel Island again.

Kiefer and I had been tentatively planning an incursion since he got back from the hospital in Geneva, and when I say tentatively I mean I didn’t think it’d get any further than meeting at his pad every now and then to drink homebrew and watch grainy footage of previous expeditions to the island.
“What are they doing out there, man?” He’d plead. “What’s happening on that island?”.
“How should I know?” I’d reply, “That’s why we need to fly out to LA, get in your boat, and check in on those primitive fuckers before it’s too late.”
Finally, last Thursday night, after the slurred conversation had drifted below the 25th parallel for the thousandth time, Keifer stood up and announced that we were leaving for the Andaman Islands immediately. “YESSS!” I cheered, and suddenly we were zinging out across the North Pacific on his Altura 840, our hair in the wind and Hawkwind on the stereo.
At the stroke of midnight we arrived 5 km off the southernmost coast of North Sentinel Island. After thoughtfully selecting the many guns and knives we would need to shoot and stab our way in, we dropped our canoe in the water and began noislessly paddling over. 30 feet from the island we paused. The bay waves gently slapped at our sides and a big dinner-plate moon shone down, spilling silver between us and the bone-white beach in the distance.
“We should turn around.” Whispered Kiefer.
“Are you fucking kidding me, Sutherland?” I hissed, “We’re here!”
“I know, I know.” He whimpered, “I’m just a bit scared. Remember what happened to Bob Newhart when he came out here?”
Indeed, Newhart had attempted an invasion back in 1987 but failed miserably beneath a hail of spears.
“Newhart’s a hack.” I said, “Everyone knows that. And besides, he had Lisa Kudrow with him. He didn’t stand a chance.”
Kiefer stared back at me, then looked toward the dark, low lying bulk of the island.
“You’re right.” He said. “Let’s do this.”

To be continued… but probably not.