What’s up Fraggle Rock? That’s what we call you now. We say, “Hey, we better post some shit before Fraggle Rock wakes up and gets on his internet.” And then we get to work.
You may have noticed we’ve been a bit slow lately. Don’t pretend you haven’t noticed, Fraggle Rock. You can’t hurt our feelings.
Well anyway, we’re fast again now, so stop talkin’ shit about us to your friends down at the PinkBerry.
Now. Today’s headlines blew the top of my head clean off. They just got eight new trains in India that are only for Women. Turns out Indian men are so gross and ill-mannered that the women need their own set of trains so they can travel to work without being groped, pinched, and generally treated like animals. It’s 2009, Indian Man. Snap out of it.
Also, the guys that shot rockets at the American Embassy in Iraq, where Vice Prez Joe Biden was “sleeping” the other day, have been arrested. This is Joe’s second visit to the Green Zone in less than three months, and he claims he’ll “be back again” despite the fact that some people dislike him so much that they fired rockets at him. Rockets. It’s 2009, Joe. Get a fucking grip.
Lastly, some bird in Denmark got pregnant on a random one night stand… which is about as newsworthy as someone losing a flip-flop. But WAIT! There’s more- She had the baby, and then posted a video up on YouTube to try and find the father (who’s name and country of origin she can’t remember. Shut up, Fraggle Rock. We’ve all been there.) But now the people of Denmark are totally pissed because they think the video makes it look like Danish women are promiscuous. Terrible. What’s worse is-
it’s a fucking advertisement! Yeah! It’s not real! It’s an ad created by the Danish Tourism Board to encourage people to visit and, presumably, have sex with Danish women. Too weird. I guess it is 2009 though.

Look at this Pineapple!

Here’s another letter from our good buddy Riley in Australia. He hurt his bum while being a skeg. Enjoy.

Hey Man,
I think I broke my ass-cheek bone yesterday.
I went skating in Prahran, and there was this really cute girl sitting on a park bench reading next to the skate park. I sat down and had a bite to eat, and when I finished I stepped on my board to make a grand entrance into the bowl. Started off well, cruised past her all cocky like, went to do a casual warm up 50-50 on this little quarter pipe and fell straight onto my left cheek. Hurt so bad, but I had to do one of those ‘trip on the pavement and pretend it’s no big deal’ moves, and keep on skating. I messed up on the next trick I tried to do as well and decided that maybe I was in a bit to much pain to be able to skate. Rolled around for a bit longer then sat down. I went to make a call and realised that my phone had been in my back pocket when I fell on the coping. It was a really expensive phone and I had bent it in half and cracked the screen beyond use. Just to add insult to injury.
Anyway, the cute girl left with her boyfriend who was at the park and I hobbled over to cash converters to buy a crappy stand in to replace my bent banana phone.
Good lesson in not getting too cocky.

p.s. Tell Fraggle Rock I said what’s up.

The Mark & Riley Show(different Riley) is just about the best thing that ever happened in the history of television. Either that or we’re losing it.
This episode made me cry. “Go to Hollywood and suck dick for a living- Like I did.” Who says that? No one. No one ever says that.
I know, I know, it’s almost ten minutes long, but, my God, it’s worth watching. This is the kinda stuff that wins Emmys. Sheer genius.

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