Normally, New Year’s celebrations are just that- a birthday party for the new year. But last night, for me anyway, it was all about commemorating the demise of the old year. Rocking the tumbrel. Jeering at the gallows. Fuck you 2009, you interminable rat-bastard. I spit in your gravy.
And hello 2010! This year feels better already! Chiefly because I don’t really have a hangover, despite having drank all manner of toxic swill, and smoked all manner of jazz cigarettes until the wee hours.
But even though I feel perkier than a big bag of nipples, I’ll be lying on the couch and watching movies all day.

Happy New Year, sugar-tits, gather ye rosebuds while ye may, old time is still a-flying…
and there’s a draft in the pipeline apparently…
Serious. The President is considering a draft if this whole war thing doesn’t simmer down in the next twelve months. Don’t believe me? Don’t think the President would screw you like that? Trust me. He doesn’t care that you flew all the way to Florida just to beg your grandparents to vote for him. He’s running out of front line fodder, and that means you, student-balls. Start saving for kevlar. Did you know that he’s sanction more CIA drone hits in Pakistan (drone hits that kill hundreds of civilians) in the last year than Bush did during his whole presidency? It’s true. Look it up. Bush might have been completely retarded, but Obama is a wolf in a bunny suit, AND he’s sending you off to war. I’d go but I’m a club footed homosexual with one eye.
You’re off to war, buddy! HA!
Anyway, enough of that noise. Politics are a stone drag. Plus they have a habit of dividing people, and we’re all about love, man.
Have a far-out 2010!

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