Monica Clapcott is our new best friend because she saw that the site was fucked, hollered at us, and then fixed the whole mess in 24 hours.
We’ve never even met her! What an angel. Thanks Monica! There’s no way I can ever show my true appreciation without upsetting my girlfriend (I can get her to write you a detailed description of what she gets every year on her birthday perhaps… is that going too far? Probably. Whatever. I’m a truffle pig).
But then again- no thanks! Now we have to resume creating content for this absurd little bastard of a website… it was nice doing nothing.
We had a celebratory thing this afternoon to celebrate the fact that the website works again. Here we are celebrating.

Anyway, back into it. Here’s our first installment since things went pear shaped last month.
Looky! This is seriously a page from a standard Australian Oxford Dictionary. Can you believe it? We can’t. We’re reeling about the place saying, “We can’t believe it.”
True.

The first time I did acid was good. I stayed up all night with my friends and laughed at everything and anything that appeared on the television until the sun came up. My roommate at the time was “Amy”, a majorly uptight square that worked at Ikea (don’t know what she’s like these days. Maybe normal.). She was freaking out every five minutes, stomping down the hall, bursting into the lounge room and accosting us for making so much noise. Normally I would have been more considerate and sent my friends home, BUT- her little brother had been sleeping on our couch since the day we moved in six months before, so I figured she could go fuck her mindful unselfish self.
This is all old-ass news from the 90′s, so I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I posted up the letter she left under my door the next morning… the letter that gave me my first real taste of total lockjaw. I actually wet my pants a bit when I got to the part about smoking inside. Hilarious.
If you have funny roommate letters please forward them to us so we can post them up.

Me and Sterling did some gay shit for those fag bitches at Vice. Here it is. x