What about a Swiffer ™ ball?! Like a ball made out of Swiffer ™ that you kick around the house to collect all the dust and pubes. You can just give it an idle boot every time you walk by. Urban tumble weed. Genius.
You can have that.

We received a shit-load of letters from people that want to transcribe interviews for fun, and we’re sorting through them now. So, sit tight; you’ll hear from us soon. Incidentally, the guy that wrote: “Fuck yeah! I’ll do that!” and nothing more (not even a name), will not be hearing from us soon. You are very ridiculous, Sir.
If you’ve no idea what any of this is about, read the previous post.
Can’t wait to meet you, future-intern. We’re gonna have fun! I’m going to show you how to smoke opium! Just kidding. There will be no drug use at the future-office.

Speaking of ridiculous, Keifer called and we’re going for appletinis at the Gramercy tonight. I suspect he wants to reclaim the ‘choke-fight’ crown. I’ve been breathing into my diaphragm while simultaneously strangling myself since I put the phone down. He’s not getting the title back, and I don’t care if that means flatlining him (nyuk nyuk). Arm-wrestling? Arm-wrestling is for prawn-cracker bitch-men. Choke-fighting is the only true test of a man’s mettle, and the best place to really choke it up is over appletinis at the Gramercy. I’ll be in the Rose bar at around 10PM, choking the shit out of Keifer Sutherland’s big purple head.
Come say hi!
Here’s a great moment in cinema.