In the 90′s everything was much better than it is today. Music was better, fashion was better, even TV was better! You know that show Sienfeld? It comes from the 90′s. So does Friends. The movies were way better in the 90′s too. Reality Bites, Singles, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? (Spoiler Alert: His mom was mega fat)… The list of good movies from the 90′s is longer than a typical 90′s penis (penis’s were longer in the 90′s).
Man, did we ever have some good times in the 90′s. Beer was practically free it was so cheap, and cigarettes were way less expensive than they are these days, AND they were much more delicious, AND they hadn’t killed nearly as many people as they have now. Also, in the 90′s, there was almost no such thing as reality television; half the untalented arseholes that grace the pages of today’s tabloids were just plain old arseholes like you and me. Yes, even Taylor Swift.
In the 90′s there weren’t that many cell phones, so if you left the house to go buy The Spin Doctors’ Pocket Full Of Kryptonite, because you liked the ‘Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong’ single, you couldn’t call your friends on the way to the store and warn them that you were an arsehole; they’d find out the next time they came over to smoke bongs and watch the X Files.
Man, do NOT get me started on how good the 90′s were… Girls were better in the 90′s! They had nose-rings, and rough dye jobs, and they listened to NIN. They were all messed up and drank too much, had holes in their clothes, hated their parents. They broke down in public when Kurt died, screaming “Why! Why! Why!” and then they ditched school to have sex with you in the afternoon…. Don’t get me started on the 90′s, dude-nuts…

(We’re still sorting through the intern applications. It’s kinda bananas how many of you want to be girl-fridays. We should have done this ages ago.)

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