Ben Selway from Cornwall Egland wrote to say- in regards to clowns- that he’d “‘Human Centipede’ their asses….but instead of 3, i’d sew a row of ten together. I’d feed the front one on a mixture of asparagus, sizzling hot curry and Guinness and watch it work is way to the back. Then we’ll see who’s fucking laughing! After, I’d probably just watch some T’V or something.”
I had to look up ‘Human Centipede’ on the internet, and I was shocked. Ben Selway, you sick bastard, well done.
Do you want to kill a clown? Who doesn’t? Clowns are scum. Write and tell us how you’d take out a clown.
Best dead clown wins a T-shirt!
Now, watch this kid shoot a clown right in the eye with a pellet gun.
It is, in a word, exquisite.
Suck it, Clown. I think the death penalty should be extended to those who even entertain the idea of being a clown; evil pricks.
Here’s a poem I wrote about how much I hate clowns.
Isn’t it rich?
Aren’t we a pair?
Me holding a baseball bat,
You in mid-air.
Waste all the clowns.
Isn’t it bliss?
Don’t you approve?
I’ll belt you over the head with a fucking spade,
And then you can’t move.
Where are the clowns?
I’m wasting the clowns.
Just when I’d stopped
Opening doors,
Finally knowing
The one that I wanted was yours,
Making my entrance again
With my usual flair,
Get that fucking horn out of my face,
I’ll kill you, you fucking clown.
Don’t you love farce?
My fault, I fear.
I thought that you’d want what I want -
And that is to drown you a vat of hydrochloric acid, you clown, die!
But where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Quick, send in the clowns so I can stomp them out.
What a surprise.
Who could foresee
I’d shoot you at point blank range with a goddamn shot gun, you fuckin’ CLOWN!
Why only now when I see
That you’d drifted away out to sea and been eaten by sharks.
What a surprise.
What a cliché.
Isn’t it rich?
Isn’t it queer?
Trunk-load of dead clowns, drive off a cliff.
And where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don’t bother – I killed them.
